Philly- Itis at It’s Finest

I have had a few weeks to let this all settle in, the parade was insane, and Philadelphia got a speech for the ages from Jason Kelce. The EAGLES are Superbowl champions and we get to say that all year, but there’s a phenomenon taking place around the Tri-state, that is surprising in a good way, and makes me dream even bigger than I ever have.

 There’s something to be said about how this city reacted to February’s greatest football story ever. There was a handful…a big handful…like shaq’s handful, of people who took things to a level that maybe they should not have while celebrating (eating horse crap, punching horses, stealing horses…maybe it was just all one guy?). But I’m not here to criticize those folks, because I know most of it was out of passion, and a major release of 51 years of disappointment and dashed hopes. It’s like a fat kid eating a healthy meals for years because his parents promise him the greatest ice-cream sundae ever made if he eats right, but every year they say good job and give him one scoop of vanilla on Feb 4th and make him watch as someone else eats his sundae. When that kid turns 25 (yes I am the fat kid) and he gets that desert hes been dreaming of, he just got so excited that it finally came, that instead of eating it he threw it all over the city. The night we won was our desert, and the parade was the trip to friendly’s a couple days later where we actually go to feast on some frozen sugary cow juice. And you know what? That healthy skinny kid with extreme trust issues, and a growing pride in the passion he has for his diet deserves a whole year of throwing ice cream if he wants.  And to the national pundits and spectators of our fun house, which is the city limits….keep talking about how were trash, because as I said before the game, not only do we not care in the slightest, but we’re gonna revel in it. The more you talk, the more I know it bugs you that Philly can, in fact have nice things. And guess what b**ch…the Lombardi is the nicest of all. And it was all summed up in what can only be described as the greatest (non-civil rights) speech ever given. If you haven’t seen Jason Kelce single-handedly slap the rest of the country’s media coverage of this team, please stop doing whatever it is your boss told you to do and look it up and just let yourself feel what it meant to this city and this team. That they could prove everyone wrong and win the most storybook perfect championship I have seen since we beat those commy bastards in Salt Lake City.

 When Chase Utley stood completely hammered on a stage in 2008 and said “world f**king champions!!!” he lit a fire under this city’s baseball faithful that burned deep into the next 5-7 years. We set major league sell out records at CBP, we went to the playoffs for 4 straight years after that, and won the division the most times in a row since the choke job braves of the 90’s. But, for all our passion in Philadelphia, there is a clear divide among the 3 sports, baseball, hockey, and basketball. Sixers fans and Flyers fans rarely cross paths in a diehard manor, Phillies fans are alone in the summer months, and while we all love them, there is a constant leader in Philadelphia, and that is the EAGLES. When Jason Kelce finished and mike dropped on an entire city, to deafening roars at the most iconic set of steps in America, yeah I said it Lincoln…sweet memorial bro, there was a ripple effect that not even #KelceforPres2020 understood. The City felt it, and there was a change.

 Remnants of 1980 have been recalled to the surface, and for those of you who don’t understand that reference, its when the City of Philadelphia did something that no other city can claim, and most do not even have the ability to do. In 1980 all four major Philadelphia Sports teams were in their respective championships. This 2017-18 EAGLES team has infected this city…with what you ask? Winning, that’s what. As my Editor In Chief John Brocious will tell you, winning is contagious, and this city is officially infected. Between the Sixers and the Flyers, Philadelphia is 12-0-1 since our super bowl victory. The sixers are in position to make a serious push for a top 4 seed in the NBA playoffs and as the standings sit today the flyers are 2pts out of the 2 seed, and 3 pts out of the 1 seed in the metropolitan division. So the question that has to be asked right now is this….can Philadelphia lose? I want you to go out and test this. Challenge your new York, and Chicago friends to a little one on one pick up, and make them play for their mortgage. Drop a little 5k wager on some shuffleboard against your college roommate from San Fran. Put pink-slips on a curling match with that guy you know from accounting who’s from down south and won’t shut up about roll damn tide. Roll that tide into work after I take your car Gary. But seriously we need to take advantage of this as a city. And I want to know if we can’t actually lose.philadelphia-eagles-super-bowl-52-ring-2018-2018-ring-ring-only-10

 I have a little theory I want to leave you with and follow along because its some serious Good Will Hunting shit. The 1980 season will repeat itself in Philadelphia in 2020, and heres why! The young big names we have in our city right now are Carson Wentz (11), Joel Embid (21), Ivan Proverov (9), and Rhys Hoskins (17), right? Well check this out….if this ain’t some wizardry I don’t know what is. Philadelphia is famous for signing the Declaration of Independence in 1776. Multiply Carson by Joel (11 x 21) and you get 231, add Proverov (231 + 9) you get 240, subtract Rhys (240 – 17) you get 223 and add one  Lombardi Trophy and what do you get? 224!!!!!!! And guys…whats 2020 minus 224?????????????  Seventeen seventy six.



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